The more you are in a relationship with someone, the more routine certain things become, from your dinner schedule to how you spend your free time. And the sex can also sometimes become a routine and the sexual desire can fade. Of course, every couple is different and the decrease in sexual desire may not be a problem for you and your significant other.
But if you want to know how to keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship, we have a few answers. Researchers from the University of Kentucky in the Department of Kinesiology and Health Promotion, Kristen P. Mark and Julie A. Lasslo, decided to continue their research on this topic in their article titled “Maintaining Sexual Desire in Long-Term Relationships: A Systematic Review and Conceptual Model”which appears in The Journal of Sex Research.
Although research on this topic has increased in recent years, low and high desires are still problematized in clinical settings and in the wider culture. However, despite knowing that sexual desire comes and goes both within and between individuals and that problems with sexual desire are strongly linked to relationship problemsthere is a critical gap in understanding of the factors that contribute to the maintenance of sexual desire in the context of relationships.
For example, many people assume that arguing in relationships causes a decrease in desire, but in a 2013 study they found that when men and women had sex to avoid an argument or conflict, it was considered a risk factor in maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships. Similarly, in another 2013 study, they found that partner conflict caused women to view their partner as less sexually attractive – but they thought avoidance was the problem, not the conflict.
In their research, Mark and Lasslo have found some common denominators when it comes to maintaining the sexual desire alive in a long-term relationship. Here are some of the factors they discovered:
When it comes to your partner, you are probably attracted to him/her in many ways, which helps you control your sexual desire. Another commonly found factor at the level of the individual that contributes to long-term desire is an individual’s feelings of attraction to their partner, and this has been studied in several ways.
While you may know couples who speak for each other and finish each other’s sentences, they probably also have their own sense of being. Maintaining autonomy is another factor in keeping alive thesexual spark. A 2014 study found in a qualitative study of 33 couples, that autonomy meant possibility and discovery. So while it’s great to be part of a couple, it’s also essential to maintain your individuality and your sense of yourself.
3. Sexual Confidence
Chances are you know whether you feel confident in yourself or not, and that goes for your love relationship. And, yes, having confidence and self-esteem can help you with your sexual desire level. An example given by Mark and Lasslo comes from a 2015 study which found that when a person prioritizes themselves as a sexual being, it can help increase and maintain sexuality. sexual desire.
4. Emotional intimacy
You know how you can have a sexual relationship more fulfilling with someone? When you are more emotionally connected… That’s when theemotional intimacy enters the scene. To maintain the sexual desire, the answer is to maintain or increase emotional closeness with your partner. Daily intimacy can also increase sexual desire.
5. Good communication
Relationship experts often say that “communication is essentialwhen it comes to you and your partner, and they’re right. In terms of maintaining the sexual desire, Mark and Lasslo’s research also found that communication was an important factor, and they cited numerous sources to support this. For example, when it comes to relationships, they said there is a strong link between communication and satisfaction outcomes. Moreover, the sexual communication was another way to connect couples and bring them closer, which could increase desire.
6. Separate sex and feelings
The desire in the couple is born from a certain distance with the other. Also to sustain and revitalize his desire, you must consider sexuality as an activity that does not require plunging body and soul into love. Indeed, intercourse turns out to be much more frequent when people distinguish between sex and the relational and emotional aspects of their relationship.
If love and trust are two essential elements for the well-being of a couple, the two do not guarantee an intense sex life. On the other hand, love passion is strongly associated with the frequency of sexual intercourse.
If your libido is weak despite all this, consider consulting a specialized therapist who can help you regain your sexual desire.